Whether you’re planning a wedding or marking an anniversary with a vow renewal, writing your own vows is one of the most personal — and most daunting — parts of the preparation for the day. You want your vows to sound like you, to mean something, and not to fall apart the moment you’re standing in front of everyone you love. You need to love the vows, your partner even more so and your guests need to be bowled over !! No small task !
Here’s where I’d suggest starting.
Start with memory, not language
Don’t begin by trying to write beautifully. Begin by writing down memories — the ordinary ones, the silly ones, the tear jerker ones- as much as the big ones. That Tuesday evening that felt like everything.. A joke only the two of you find funny. How you so nearly didn’t meet. The best vows are built from specific, true details, not grand statements that could apply to any couple.
Decide on tone together
One of the most common vow-writing problems isn’t the words — it’s mismatched tone. If one of you writes something deeply serious and the other writes five minutes of jokes, the moment will feel oddly lopsided. Have a conversation beforehand about the overall feeling you’re going for: Heartfelt? Funny? A mix of both? You don’t need to share drafts, but agreeing on tone in advance saves a lot of unexpected surprises.
Structure gives freedom, not restriction
A loose structure actually makes vows easier to write, not harder. Try this: how you felt when you met or fell in love, what you’ve learned about them since, a specific promise or two for the future, and a closing line that sums up how you feel. You don’t have to follow it exactly, but staring at a structure is far less daunting than staring at a blank page.
Keep it speakable
Vows are written to be spoken aloud, not read silently — so read your draft out loud as you write it, more than once. Long, complex sentences that look fine on paper often become difficult to say with a full heart and a room full of eyes on you. Short sentences hold up better under emotion.
Know the length that works for the day
Somewhere between one and two minutes each is usually right — long enough to say something real, short enough that nerves don’t take over or, worse still, folk switch off . If you’re not sure, time yourself reading your vow aloud.
How I can help
This is something I talk through with every couple I work with — whether that’s helping you find the right memories to draw from, giving honest feedback on a draft, helping balance tone between the two of you, or simply being a calm, experienced voice when the blank page feels overwhelming. You don’t have to get this right alone, and you don’t have to be a writer to write something that means everything on the day.
If you’re preparing to write your vows — for a wedding or a vow renewal — I’d love to help you find the words.
What I Do
Weddings and Commitment Ceremonies
Your love story deserves centre stage. I craft wedding ceremonies that reflect who you really are – whether that's a sophisticated celebration in an historic venue or an intimate gathering in your favourite spot. From the legal bit to the heartfelt vows, I'll guide you through creating a ceremony that's entirely, authentically yours.
Funerals and Celebrations of Life
Saying goodbye is never easy, but it can be beautiful, meaningful, and even uplifting. I work closely with families to create tributes that truly honour your loved one – celebrating their quirks, their passions, and the impact they made. Together, we'll craft a ceremony that creates the perfect send-off.
Naming Ceremonies
Welcome the newest addition to your family with a ceremony that's full of love, laughter and hope. Whether you're celebrating a birth, an adoption, or a new chapter in someone's life, I'll help you create a meaningful occasion that brings everyone together.
Vow Renewals
Still crazy about each other? Of course you are ! Why not celebrate that? Vow renewals are joyful, romantic occasions that remind everyone why love and commitment matter.. Whether it's your 10th or 40th anniversary, let's create a ceremony that honours your journey together.
Pet Celebrations
Our furry, feathered, and four-legged family members deserve recognition too. From welcoming a new pet into your fold to saying goodbye to a beloved companion, I can create a heartfelt ceremony that acknowledges the special place they hold in your heart.