Finding the Words: How I Can Help You Write a Eulogy

Finding the right words to say goodbye to someone you love is one of the hardest things You’ll ever be asked to do. Grief has a way of making language feel impossible — you know exactly how much someone meant to you, but somehow that feeling won’t turn into sentences. If you’re staring at a blank page right now, wondering how you’ll ever capture a whole life, a whole relationship, in a few paragraphs: please know that what your feeling is completely normal, and you don’t have to do it alone.

How I Can Help You Find the Words

This is where I come in. As a celebrant, helping families find and shape the words for a eulogy is one of the parts of my work I take most seriously — I’m saying that not because I can write it better than you could, but because I can help you get out of your own way long enough to write it at all.

Starting With a Conversation

Here’s what that actually looks like in practice. We start with a conversation, not a blank page. I’ll ask you questions you might not think to ask yourself — not just what did they do for a living but what did their laugh sound like, what is a moment that has stayed with you for no obvious reason, what would they find funny about all of this. Often the most memorable lines in a eulogy come from these small, specific memories, not the big biographical facts.

Deciding Who Will Read the Eulogy

If you’re worried about standing up and reading it yourself, we can talk through that too — some people want to read every word themselves, some want to share the reading with another family member, and some would rather I read all or part of it so they can simply be present. There’s no right answer, only the one that feels possible for you.

Getting the Structure and Pacing Right

I also help with structure and pacing — how to open in a way that settles the room, how to move between grief and warmth without the tone feeling jarring, and how to close in a way that gives people permission to feel whatever they’re feeling. And practically speaking, I’ll help you get the length right for the time you have, so you’re not rushing through it or feeling awkwardly short.

Support With Writing Your Eulogy

If you’re preparing to write a eulogy — whether I’m conducting the funeral or you simply need a steady, experienced hand to help you shape your words — I’d be glad to help. You don’t need to have the right words yet. You just need to start the conversation.